Just Say No by @theengaginged


by Jen Brown (Oleniczak) | Featured Contributor

I’m not aged sufficient to remember the start of the ‘Just Say No’ Reagan marketing campaign – I am aged sufficient to remember my DARE courses in elementary college. Particularly, I remember in 5th grade, sitting down in class when an Oak Creek Law enforcement Officer introduced in a case of medication (or bogus medication?) so we could see what they looked like. The message? Say no. Though I, like anyone, experienced my moments – for the most component, I was a results story of saying no to medication. No, no, no. My overachieving, folks pleasing mentality held me on the straight and slender.

Quick-forward to university and non-drug relevant habits. I experienced my first knowledge with improv in undergrad. I remember loving it, particularly the ‘never say no’ rule. It was SO freeing right after a long time of saying no. ‘Yes, And’ was the regulation of the improv land – always say Of course. For me, a folks pleaser, this was Superb. Say Of course to everything? A mentality I can get behind! Of course, I can do this more change at my component-time career. Of course, we can have a lot more drinks. Of course, I’ll smile and nod in a undesirable romantic relationship and friendship because I do not want to upset you! Of course, of course, of course!

Of course came to a screeching halt in my 30s when I commenced to embrace and preach the word no.

This could occur as a shock to folks who know my small business. As someone who teaches improv to non-actors, particularly to professionals who aren’t fascinated in ever being on phase, Of course, And is my Daily life. Affirm and elevate your coworkers, your team, your close friends, your relatives, and your considerable other. Of course, they can truly feel upset when you ignore to get in touch with them back again. Of course, they can be mad when you are late. Of course, they can flip in their studies late.

Of course, And is genuinely nuanced – it is critical to be aware that by saying Of course, And, you aren’t necessarily agreeing with someone or something. By saying Of course, And, you are affirming THEM and elevating THEM. Certain, of course could be agreeing to something. In this case, it is component of the wonderful equalizer. Whatsoever you are about to insert with that future assertion, the Of course, And helps make your assertion just as critical as someone else’s. Of course, And gives you time to believe, it enables for innovative growth, it is basically tattooed on my arm. It is a mantra.

With all this truly feel great Of course, when should we say no and why would I, an improv facilitator, start preaching no? Affirming and elevating is different than being a doormat. Just say no to doormatting.

How can you guide an Affirm and Elevate way of life AND think in saying no? It is uncomplicated: knowledge what you are saying of course and no to. Of course, your belief is just as critical as someone else’s – and theirs is just as critical as yours. No, you do not have to agree with them. Of course, you should consider that scary factor that your imposter syndrome claims you can’t do. No, you do not have to do that factor your gut and instinct is screaming about. Of course, you should choose a danger. No, you shouldn’t over lengthen your self.

Next Of course or No decision you are a very little uncertain about, take into account a several factors:

Why am I saying Of course? Do I genuinely want this, or am I saying Of course because I believe I have to? Am I saying Of course for ME or for [insert purpose or individual in this article]? Will this support my life and me? Yet again, do I genuinely want this?

Why am I saying No? Do I necessarily mean it, or do I believe I ‘shouldn’t’ or ‘couldn’t’? Am I saying No because it does not truly feel proper, or because my imposter syndrome and inner critic is being a jerk? Will saying Of course overextend me? Will saying Of course make me a doormat?

Normally say no to being a doormat, and always say of course to being spectacularly you.


Jen Brown (Oleniczak) is the Founder and Creative Director of The Partaking Educator. By means of EE, her pedagogical technique of Improv as Continuing Education has arrived at over twenty five,000 folks – all non-actors! Since 2012, Jen has given three TEDx Talks on the power of Improv, grown EE to three locations in NYC, Winston-Salem, NC and LA, and not too long ago commenced The Partaking Educator Basis, a 501(c)(three) which delivers no cost and low-price Improv workshops for educators, at-danger adults, teens and pupils on the Autism Spectrum. Jen holds levels and accreditation from Marquette College, Metropolis Faculty of New York, St. Joseph’s College and Second Metropolis. Currently, Jen happily resides in Winston-Salem with her spouse, who she satisfied while instructing an improv class – and no, he wasn’t the ideal individual in the class, in fact, he was the worst.

Connect with Jen: Twitter | YouTube | Fb

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The publish Just Say No by @theengaginged appeared first on She Owns It.


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